I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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