Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize