I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize