the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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