Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize