hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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