Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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