It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize