hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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