I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
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No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
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I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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