He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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