I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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