This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
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Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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