forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize