this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize