I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize