If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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