Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
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IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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