And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
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It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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