I'm going to jail i love you
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize