Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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