youre lurking in front of me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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