I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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