I just made out with a guy for $7.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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