Barsexuality is the new black.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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