this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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