May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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