why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize