When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize