Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize