I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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