and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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