i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize