you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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