What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize