some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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