East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
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you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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