if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
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Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize