I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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