yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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