i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have aggressive nipples.
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