..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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