the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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