I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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