cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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