Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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