so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
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Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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