I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize