this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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