lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
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As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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