as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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