i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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